The Day I Stopped Talking

I was not happy that day and I wanted everyone to know it. I was crying and throwing a temper tantrum on the floor in the hall. I don’t remember what it was I was so upset about, but I imagine it was pretty normal behavior for a cranky five year old that wasn’t getting their way. Meanwhile, my Mom was in the living room with a friend of hers. She had just bought a new tape recorder and they were having fun listening to music and singing along into the microphone. The music stopped. I continued on with my little tirade. Then I heard strange distorted sounds coming from the living room. I froze. It was me. My Mom had had enough and secretly taped my tantrum. I was confused. I ran into the living room. I heard my cries and my screams. Then the laughing started. They were making fun of the noises coming from the tape recorder, telling me how bad it sounded and that I was being a big baby. And then it became clear to me…They were laughing at me! They were making fun of me! She pushed rewind and played it over and the laughter grew even louder. I was humiliated! I was so angry and embarrassed that this happened in front of a family friend that I bolted out the front door. I think I made a vow that day to never again utter a sound. My voice brought shame and ridicule. My voice was horrible and no one wanted to hear it…especially me.