Brian's mom used to come over to our house on the weekends and drink with my parents. Sometimes she would bring Brian with her. He was eight and I was 12. We would usually play a game or watch TV in my room while the adults were getting smashed.
One night, Brian's mom drank so much that she lost consciousness. After repeatedly trying to get her to come to, my parents decided to take her to the emergency room. They left me at home to look after Brian.
He asked me what had happened. I guess I wanted to protect him so I told him she was sick and had gone to the hospital, and then tried to change the subject. He saw right through me. He knew exactly what was going on. He looked up at me and said, "I don't understand why my mom drinks. I asked her once and she told me that she drinks because it makes her feel good, but she always gets so sick." I remember the look in his eyes as he tried to process all of this and I remember not knowing what to say.
Several years later, I was watching the news and saw Brian's house. Suicidal, despondent and very drunk, she had barricaded herself inside. She was armed with a gun and was threatening to shoot herself if anyone came near. Eventually, the police broke in and arrested her, but as I was watching the stand-off I was looking for Brian. I was afraid he might be in the house. Then I saw the camera pan over to the driveway. He was there standing next to his brother and sister. The camera zoomed in on Brian's face and I saw that look in his eyes again. Several years older but still trying to make sense of it all, still trying to figure out what had happened.
I'll never forget that look. Even as I write this I can still see the pain and confusion in his eyes. It's been many years since I last saw Brian. As often happens, we lost touch as we got older. But I still think about him sometimes and find myself saying a quiet prayer for my "little brother".
2 comments:
It is sad to hear about your 'little brother,' and i hope he has turned out alright where ever he and his family are now. Alcohol can be a terribly destructive thing. I have alcoholics in my extended family and i've seen the damage it can do. It's very sad and unfortunate.
On the other hand, members of my immediate family drink alcohol in great moderation and try greatly emphasize being responsible when it comes to using alcohol. The difference it seems is whether alcohol is used or abused, and i guess that depends on the individual and their circumstance.
Brian was a tough little kid and had wisdom well beyond his years. He's a survivor. I imagine he's successful in whatever he puts his heart and mind into.
I don't see anything wrong with drinking alcohol in moderation. I personally have chosen not to drink at all because I know how easy it would be to take it one step further into addiction. The cycle stops with me.
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